Madame Allsorts in Hollywood
I've just arrived in Hollywood; I'm walking down the Boulevard, sucking on a fame pill that is killing me to swallow. My heavily jet lagged ass is being hauled over the cobbles, gazing down at the walk of fame. It feels more like the walk on pain beneath the echoes of the bath salt brigade, who slap themselves in the face as they wail out over educated nonsense. This moment feels like transportation into absolution. I've arrived at the boulevard of broken dreams; as Greenday would say!
Absolution aside, the one thing that amuses me about Hollywood is that we all know the reality is far from glamorous, yet nobody seems to want to say it out loud. Perhaps illusion is easier to digest than admitting that an area that trades on the cities brightest stars is also home to many that have simply burned out. This feels like a good time to point out that this isn't an anti-Hollywood article. Hollywood is no different from any other highly publicised area; it celebrates the great, and that is a magnet that draws in the not so great. In my eyes, Los Angeles is as advertised: a land of opportunity. It's merely a case of recognising the right opportunities... and running a mile from the wrong ones! Here are a few little observations I've made during my journey down the yellow brick road!...
Madame Allsorts in Hollywood wearing The Last Supper Dress by Madame Allsorts Couture
The wrong opportunities often come from those selling association; we've all met them, people who drop names like adjectives. The kinda' guy who has Michael Jackson on his client list because he once made him a milkshake!! In my experience people who work with names don't drop them, firstly they don't need to, but secondly because confidentially agreements are a bitch!
This is by no means my first time in Hollywood, the previous visits are several chapters in themselves, but perhaps this is the first time I've scratched the surface enough to truly analyse it. On my first trip to Los Angeles, I was paraded around by a publicist who's biggest claim to fame was representing Paris Hilton; it felt like fame was a simple reward for how willing you are to show up.
At the time, I couldn't really differentiate between an opportunity and the right opportunity. I was younger, and above all, I wanted to perform. I grabbed everything that came my way even when it didn't feel right. I'd walk a red carpet pretending to be famous, even though inside I was laughing at myself! Don't assume that because you're on a red carpet you will look like a star; the media aren't that dumb (usually), and neither are the general public!
Madame Allsorts in Hollywood
Fame is a bit of a dirty word but to me, recognition is a bi-product of doing something interesting, not just a measure of how willing you are to show up. There are hundreds of red carpet events each night and with the exception of the cast and crew, everyone else is there to make up the numbers. It's like going to your distant cousin's wedding so they don't have an empty church. In both cases you won't be needed in the photos, and nobody will care when you arrive or leave! It's simple; if you want the staring role, don't be so damn keen to act like an extra!
Madame Allsorts in Hollywood
The biggest thing I've learnt as an artist is to know what you want and to stick to it, because the wrong opportunity can be worse than no opportunity at all. If you want to perform, make sure people see you performing. If you want to design, make sure people see your designs. If you want to act, make sure you get cast in a movie. It all sounds pretty obvious, right? But yes, if you want to be a socialite then turn up every time someone offers a goodie bag, and if at all possible, try and stick your tongue down an A-lister's throat! After all, it never did Kim Kardashian any harm!
Madame Allsorts "Manipulated Reality" artwork featuring Kim Kardashian and Kanye West
www.madameallsorts.com